The 12 Days to End Violence Campaign is put on annually by the Victoria Faulkner Women’s Centre and Les EssentiELLES from November 25th to December 6th. Each year the campaign tackles the issue of violence against women through events and raising awareness about the issue and what we can do about it! This year’s theme was Raising a Generation without Violence Against Women. Today, the final day of the campaign, was marked by a ceremony at the Yukon Legislative Assembly to commemorate the 14 women killed at Ecole Polytechnique in 1989 and the 39 Missing and Murdered Women in Yukon. Over the noon hour, the Legislative Assembly was packed with men, women and children who all gathered to hear from speakers and to join in the moment of silence and reflection.
Representatives from BYTE (Shelby) and Big Brothers Big Sisters of Yukon (Bonnie Gingras) were honored to share the stage to discuss the importance of the Day of Remembrance and Action and to share their experiences in the fight to end violence against women. Here is the transcript of what they had to say:
Photo courtesy of the 12 Days to End Violence campaign.
When we were discussing themes for this years 12 days to end violence campaign back in the fall, I was feeling really discouraged. I don’t want us to need this campaign anymore. I want us to put this campaign out of business. It can be easy to feel discouraged in the fight to end violence against women – it seems like for every gain we make, there are setbacks to accompany it. But this year’s theme for the 12 Days to End Violence Campaign has been re-energizing! Raising a Generation without Violence is a message very near to my heart and to the hearts of anyone with young people in their lives.
At Big Brothers Big Sisters and BYTE we are committed to doing our part to help raise a generation without violence. That is why all of our volunteers and staff receive training, knowledge, and support in how to be  good role models to the youth they mentor. It can be as simple as treating everyone around us with a basic level of dignity and respect in all of our interactions regardless of the person’s gender, race, or social standing and knowing that little eyes are always watching and learning what it means to be an adult from us, but it is also as difficult as examining some of the things that we learned through the same method of watching and listening to the role models in our lives, to see if they are really messages that we want to carry forward.
As an example, one of our Mentees spoke to her Mentor about a boy at school who wouldn’t stop pushing her around and picking on her. The Mentor responded with the advice she had heard growing up – that just means he likes you. But when she spoke with our Mentoring Coordinator, who was actually Shelby at the time, about it afterward, they had a discussion about the messaging that we teach girls around healthy relationships and what is and is not okay to permit. The Mentor agreed that she didn’t want her Mentee to start to think that violence and abuse equaled love – this was a phrase she had heard a lot growing up, but it no longer can be a message that we carry forward. This opened up an opportunity for the Mentor to have a longer discussion with her Mentee about boundaries and respect and to realize that what her Mentee had been talking about was actually systematic bullying that needed to be addressed.
It’s okay to make mistakes in our goal of being positive role models, it’s hard work unlearning the inherent sexism that the world has taught us, the important piece is having the courage to admit to the young people in our lives when we make mistakes, explaining why they are mistakes, and creating a safe space for them to ask questions about why it was wrong. Through our work we are constantly exploring these mistakes and the best way to discuss gender stereotypes, cycles of violence, relationships and inequality with young people in our communities. And while we will probably continue to make mistakes and experience setback, in the spirit of feeling encouraged and fighting back – I want to share with you some moments of awesome coming from young people in our communities:
That same young girl Bonnie was talking about, later came to me about a boy she thought liked her. She thought that boy liked her because he always waited to see her at recess, he smiled at her, asked her questions and talked to her about Dr. Who because he knew she was a fan. That was a such an awesome moment and it felt like a real gain in the fight to end violence against women.
Another example of this happened this past week, I helped deliver a consent workshop to a room full of young men and they wanted to understand what consent was. They talked about how it can be awkward to ask for consent but in the end they knew it would be more awkward to not get it, to assume. These young men know what consent is and they know there are no grey areas in consent. This gives me hope!
As role models it is our responsibility to help raise a generation without violence. The 12 Days Campaign and this Day of Remembrance helps ensure younger generations are aware of what can happen when we lose sight of one another as people, and view each other instead as us and them. Thank you for your commitment to raising a generation without violence and for being here today.Â
Thank you to Victoria Faulkner Women’s Centre and Les EssentiELLES for the tireless work and campaigning you do to ensure that we do have future generations that don’t experience violence against women.